Volume 26
Local Pastor Promotes Foot Fetish to Combat Premarital Sex
“Remember to leave a little space for Jesus. And socks. It’s sexier with the socks on anyways,” said Pastor Frietche.Photo by Jack Yang This past Thursday, passing …
Khosla Announces Halloween Costume — Sexy Chancellor
Khosla Announces Halloween Costume — Sexy Chancellor Last week Chancellor Khosla made a public apology regarding his previous year’s costume. “I’m dearly sorry for scaring some …
UCSD to Build Online Security System With Money Gained from Facebook Partnership
UCSD to Build Online Security System With Money Gained from Facebook Partnership Representatives from the UCSD Information Technology Services announced last Friday their plans to improve …
Hitchcock’s “The Birds” Remake to Feature Bird Scooters
Tickets for the movie start at $1, with 15 cents added per minute.Photo by Jack Yang After 56 years, the Master of Suspense’s 1963 thriller “The Birds” …
Meninists United Announces Petition to Rename “Herpes” to “Himpes”
Meninists United Announces Petition to Rename “Herpes” to “Himpes” In response to the feminist movements’ emphasis on retelling herstory, prominent members from the meninist movement have …
Outcry After Plant Workers Forced to Listen to “Work B**ch” on Repeat
Outcry After Plant Workers Forced to Listen to “Work B**ch” on Repeat Public uproar rocked the internet this past Friday as a controversial video taken from …
Scrabble Champion Wins Tournament Playing “Boob” for 24 Points
Scrabble Champion Wins Tournament Playing “Boob” for 24 Points In an unexpected turn of events, Scrabble Master Jenny Newman became the new North American Scrabble Champion …
Bowen Yang to Play Scarlett Johansson in Upcoming SNL Skit
Bowen Yang to Play Scarlett Johansson in Upcoming SNL Skit In a leaked NBC memo, it has been confirmed that Bowen Yang will be portraying Scarlett …
Physics Student Just Wants to Go to Class, Please
Physics Student Just Wants to Go to Class, Please Following the start of construction on Ridgewalk in Revelle College, students have been forming long queues detouring …
Brazilian President Denies Knowledge of Any Amazon Fire
Brazilian President Denies Knowledge of Any Amazon Fire Jair Bolsonaro, President of Brazil, has denied that there ever was an Amazonian fire and claims it was …
