Volume 26
Leaked Republican Plan Aims to “Drown the Liberal Coasts”
Leaked Republican Plan Aims to “Drown the Liberal Coasts” An anonymous source has recently revealed that a leaked Republican document detailed plans to accelerate global warming …
New Leaked Brexit Document Reveals Plan for US to Annex United Kingdom, Secede Florida to EU
The British were reportedly confused about why there was sweet tea in their harbor.Photo by Silver Wallace The United Kingdom is set to leave the European Union …
Actor Dies of Cardiac Arrest In Scene Where Grinch’s Heart Grows Three Sizes
Critics referred to Anderson’s portrayal of the Grinch as “a heart-wrenching performance.”Photo by Jack Yang Tragedy struck a high school performance of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch …
Mother Refuses to Cater to Daughter's "Vegan Phase" during Thanksgiving Dinner
Julie Smith decided the centerpiece dish would be the beef between her and her daughter.Photo by Jerry Wu UCSD first-year Marie Smith’s Thanksgiving break has turned into …
Area Writer Admitted to Jacobs Burn Center Due to Burnout
A further look into Stefanovic’s computer revealed 37 work-in-progress documents.Photo by Jack Yang UCSD student Joe Stefanovic, a 20 year-old satire writer, has recently been admitted to …
Costco Sample Guy in Consideration for Michelin Star
Critics’ only complaint was that they could only take one sample at a time.Photo by Jack Yang Longtime employee of Claremont’s Costco Wholesale, Hank McKindle, has been …
Experts Recommend Daylight Roth IRA Over Daylight Savings
Half of the protest reportedly failed to show up because they “fell forward” instead of “falling back.”Photo by Silver Wallace On November 3, residents across San Diego …
Christmas Karaoke Night Turns Political
When arrested, Karen Fletcher reportedly yelled to her daughter, “When I get out on parole, you are SO grounded!”Photo by Jack Yang On Sunday, December 1, the …
Democratic Debate Revealed to be Drinking Game Played by Candidates
Democratic Debate Revealed to be Drinking Game Played by Candidates A leak from the office of the DNC described the November debate as a “drinking game …
