Volume 23 Issue 4
Sean Spicer Disappears, Found Digging Under White House
Panic struck the White House last week when it was discovered that Sean Spicer, the newly appointed Press Secretary of the Trump Administration, had gone missing. …
Football Fan Hates Every Team in the League, Watched Every Game
Local NFL fan Ryan Pederson announced Sunday during the Superbowl that he loathes every single team in the league, especially his favorite team, the Denver Broncos. …
Area Man Asked to Watch Area Woman’s Stuff, Leaves
Intensely clutching a backpack to her chest, area student Angie Coronado seemed to be in a state of distress while telling reporters that last Friday that …
Biblical Scholars Find Flood Was Intended to Reward Fish
Revelations were made earlier this week when scholars found a new reference point for the Old Testament. This awakening was recently discovered by religious scholars when …
Iranians Trapped by Travel Ban Plan to “‘Argo’ This Shit”
President Trump’s January 27 executive order, which barred entry into the US for citizens of seven predominantly Muslim nations, including Iran, has already caused a wide …
Filipino Senate Calls for Peaceful Removal of President Duterte’s Head
The Filipino Senate passed a joint resolution last Friday calling for the peaceful removal of the President Duterte’s head from office and corpus. The unilateral decision …
Apple Brings Back Outsourced Jobs from Overseas, Releases Dumb Watch
Next Monday, millions across the nation will wait in line to buy the newest and most streamlined addition to Apple’s ever-growing product line — the Apple …
Put Your Children’s Future in My Capable, Perfectly Manicured Hands and You Won’t Regret It
America, I am here to tell you that all of your youths are in safe hands. I cannot say yet exactly whose hands those will be …
New Study Shows People are Your Friends If You Just Say They are Behind Their Backs
Openly acknowledging and addressing your friends as “friends” may strengthen your relationship, according to an American Psychological Association report released last Tuesday. In a surprising twist, …
Indian Children’s Playground Latest Battleground as Kashmiri Forces Attempt to Draw Line In The Sand
Indian Security forces were caught off guard last week when rebels from Kashmir attacked them on a playground in the town of Kathua. The rebels were …
