Indian Children’s Playground Latest Battleground as Kashmiri Forces Attempt to Draw Line In The Sand


Written by: Barak Tzori

“1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war, 5, 6, 7, 8, holy shit, he’s got a grenade!” yelled little Aarthi.
Photo by: Jessica Ma

Indian Security forces were caught off guard last week when rebels from Kashmir attacked them on a playground in the town of Kathua. The rebels were trying to regain the Line of Control separating India and Jammu-Kashmir, as well as steal the Indian troop’s lunch money.

Emerging from behind the twisty slide and the big tic-tac-toe board, Kashmiri rebels intended to avenge Burhan Muzaffar Wani’s murder using pellet guns, sticks, and stones. The Indian army troops remained strong throughout the conflict, but were forced to stand back when the rebels switched to using words.

This recent bout of fighting comes from a long line of conflict in the region. India has asserted since 1947 that the entire state of Jammu and Kashmir is part of India and as such must play with them during both recess and lunch. Kashmir, on the other hand, has made numerous claims for independence, stating, “We were at the handball courts first, but time and time again those upperclassmen come in and say we have to play with them or be banned from after school Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments.”

The argument for Kashmiri independence has taken a more violent turn since July, with injuries totalling in over 2000 wounded, 40 civilians killed, and two grown men stuck in swing sets made for infants.

The skirmish on the playground has cooled to a detente since the weekend, with neither side wanting to step off of their structure and into the lava.

General Natarajan Chandrasekaran claims the Indian armed forces are ready to settle in for a long and tense ceasefire.

“We have Capri Suns and Oreo snack packs to last us through winter and even spring,” he stated.

The Kashmiri leader Mukesh Ambani responded similarly, saying, “We are prepared to stay and wait for months. Lest you forget, we have been the hide-and-seek champions two years in a row now.”

A new development in this fight some local news stations are calling “Silence on the Swings 2017” occurred just past noon yesterday, when nine-year-old Aarthi Subramanian came onto the scene.

Reportedly just wanting to play on the creaky bridge, Subramanian began to shriek when a coalition of men from both sides of the conflict tried to lead her off the playground. The men were unsuccessful in telling Subramanian that she wouldn’t be able to play on the structures that day. Through the wailings of a nine-year-old, the makings of a temporary treatise could be heard negotiated under the benches, written on scraps of tanbark.

Both sides walked away from the playground that evening, leaving little Subramanian to play her favorite pretend game, “crossing the bridge to meet my aunti Meswani in Jammu for the first time.”

The morning after the treaty, Indian led airstrikes reduced the playground to one big sandbox.

Alumnus, Editor-in-Chief 2016-17 at The MQ

Barak Tzori is an MQ Alum and was Editor-in-Chief for the 2016-17 school year.

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