Volume 22 Issue 2
Top Ten Things You Didn’t Expect To See at Black’s Beach
Good, wholesome family fun Oscar-winner Tom Hanks on a raft with a volleyball My goddamn tax money Apparently birthmarks are back in style All four members …
Top Fifteen Similarities between Your Iced Coffee and Your Nagging Mother
You always feel the need to poop 15 minutes afterwards Part of Dad’s morning ritual Cause of a screaming match with the Anaheim Starbucks barista Freud’s …
Top Ten Issues of the 2064 Election
Androids only worth three-fifths of a vote Whether two dogs can get gay-married to a slippery slope Kanye West declared a deity, separation of Church and …
Top Ten Similarities Between Jury Duty And Getting an Enema
You have to watch a video from 1977 explaining the process first “My sister died and this is all you’re doing about it?” It’s not fun …
Top Ten Reasons Why OxiClean Couldn’t Quite Get That Stain Out
You still haven’t made your five easy payments of $9.95 It’s not a stain; it’s modern art. Please sir, you’re at the MOMA, get out OxiClean …
Chrome Bug Releases Incognito History To Your Parents; “I Can Explain”
Last weekend, Chrome’s most recent bug, “Bedbugiezz,” sent extensive incognito web-history lists to parents. Flabbergasted and unable to form words, like always, pre-teens across the nation …
UCSD Football Player Dies of Head Trauma
In a sad turn of events, Peyton F. Bawl, UCSD’s star quarterback player has succumbed to his injuries and died. Bawl was UCSD’s hero in its …
New Study Finds Nothing Really, Like, Matters, Dude
A new study from the Institute of the Pacific found that like, when you think about it dude, none of this shit matters. The study was …
Scientists Finally Uncover the Mystery of Dog Reproduction
A recent study by the University of California, San Diego Biology department has revealed, after so many years, just how canines reproduce. This discovery was facilitated …
Supreme Court Makes Historic Decision, Language of Love Not a Recognized Dialect
The Supreme Court passed down a landmark decision last month, ruling that the “Language of Love” was not a dialect in the eyes of the US …
