Supreme Court Makes Historic Decision, Language of Love Not a Recognized Dialect


Written by: The MQ

The Supreme Court passed down a landmark decision last month, ruling that the “Language of Love” was not a dialect in the eyes of the US government.

The case, New Age Beatnik Poets v. Kentucky, began its hearing in late September when a poetry society in northeastern Kentucky was refused an amendment they submitted to the state legislature. The amendment itself sought to solidify what the poets called the “Language of Love” as a state recognized dialect of English.

“My plan was to write the most beautiful 13 line stanza Sapphic for Rosy, the girl I’ve been going with,” explained self-described ex-pat of the Academy of American Poets Mark Zinkula. “And I wanted to show off my bilingualism and write it in my first language, the language of love.”

“There was no way we were going to let these damn hippies get any validation for themselves,” stated Kentucky State Senator Robin Webb. “It’s bad enough we’ve had to accommodate such so-called ‘languages’ as Klingon, French, and AAVE, but this is absurd.”

Ultimately the case was decided by Justice Robert’s stirring argument. “A language of love? Go tell these pretentious assholes to piss off back to their bongo-themed circle jerks.”

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