Geisel Renovation to Include New Crying Booths in Response to Rising Mental Health Concerns

Written by: Karina Yu

Pitt said, “This whole time, I thought CBT stood for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Now I know it stands for Crying Booth Treatment.”Photo by Julia Wong Throughout …


Study Finds New Sixth College Students Don’t Know How Good They Have It

Written by: Andrew Sitko

One spectator commented, “Wow, this feels like the third installment in a trilogy. I wonder if I could go onto TheMQ.org and find the prequels.”Photo by …


UCSD Cracks Down on Students Squatting in Unfinished Eighth College

Written by: Millie You

“The swaying of the building in the night wind rocks right me to sleep,” Snak commented.Photo by Julia Wong For many universities across America, the end …


Sunny G Found Wearing CAPEs

Written by: Connor Betterly

“I’m beginning to suspect that Sunny G might be Sun God,” one student said.Photo by Julia Wong Earlier this week on Sun God lawn, Sunny G …


The U.S. to Start Broadcasting All Court Proceedings Following Popularity of Heard-Depp Trial

Written by: Jacob King

One attorney concluded, “I rest my case, just like I rest on this MyPillow.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last Tuesday, the White House announced a new executive …


Photographer Protests the Use of SD Cards, Claims Art’s Beauty Is Fleeting

Written by: James Woolley

Photographer Protests the Use of SD Cards, Claims Art’s Beauty Is Fleeting Photographer Hito Sprintworthy made waves in the art world after traveling six months for …

Top Ten

Top Ten New Laws of Physics

Written by: The MQ

Quarks now have genders If you hold your breath, you can look at the sun We’re all puppets controlled by 11th-dimensional strings Left-handed people can now …

Top Ten

Top Ten Fast Food Secret Menu Items

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Fast Food Secret Menu Items The pre-pickle The BLTG Gringo style Gummy worm pasta Homosexual special (only available in June) Sour cream and onion …

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Summer Blockbusters

Written by: The MQ


Chemist Discovers First Base

Written by: Sharon Roth

A UCSD chemistry lab shocked the scientific community when Erick Menten, a third-year chemistry major, synthesized a compound with unusual physiological effects. Menten first believed the …