- Quarks now have genders
- If you hold your breath, you can look at the sun
- We’re all puppets controlled by 11th-dimensional strings
- Left-handed people can now learn about electromagnetism
- As long as there are two people on Earth, there will always be someone behind you
- When two cars crash into each other going at 80 mph, it looks cool as fuck
- Position is absolute and we are at the center of the universe
- Female atoms exist and they’re called eves
- Homogenous solutions can now get married
- Hamsters can float
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
