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FeaturesOnline Exclusives

Rejected Young Adult Novels of 2020

Written by: The MQ

Sometimes, you really CAN judge a book by its cover. Here are some scrapped young adult novels that were originally set to release this year.

FeaturesOnline Exclusives

Quarantine Horoscope

Written by: The MQ

Based on our very scientific analysis of stars and planets and whatnot, we know exactly what you’ve done during quarantine based on your sign.

ArticlesCampusLocalNews

Local Student Floods Childhood Home to Remember Life on Campus

Written by: Matthew Miltimore

Mahone’s father later commented that he was concerned that the family’s finances “would be in deep water after this stunt.”Photo by Jack Yang Mark Mahone, a second-year …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Back in My Day, We Had Plague Doctors and That Was Rad as Fuck

Written by: Megan Cox

Everyone seems to have an opinion on what doctors are doing nowadays, so I want to take this time to speak up for ghosts everywhere because …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Local Dog Claims “I Actually Don’t Need to Go on Anymore Walks”

Written by: Megan Cox

All my family does is take me on walks anymore. I am trying to be a good girl, but I am tired.  It all started the …

Top Ten

Top Ten People Who Hate Their Dads

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten People Who Hate Their Dads Henry Ford: His dad never drove him anywhere Clifford the Big Red Dog: His mother was a giant bitch, …

Top Ten

Top Ten Quarantine Activities

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Quarantine Activities Hug the elderly Ask for a push from Duo just to feel something Not wearing pants anymore because who’s gonna see you? …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

If I Need to Die for the Economy, then Kill Me Goddammit vs. Dad, How Did You Escape the Nursing Home?

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Point: If I Need to Die for the Economy, then Kill Me Goddammit Gather around everyone, it’s time for a family meeting. Hey, why is everyone …

ArticlesCampusLocalNews

Survey Finds Majority of College Students “Gastronomically Unprepared” for COVID-19

Written by: Pilan Scruggs

As an increasing number of students are forced to stay home, experts are reportedly concerned about an imminent spike in home fires.Photo by Sharon Roth With no …

ArticlesLocalNews

Out of Basic Necessities? Shoot Your Greedy Neighbors.

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

I think it’s fair to say that life has been a little bit hectic these days. With the shelter-in-place orders still in full effect, people have …