Local Dog Claims “I Actually Don’t Need to Go on Anymore Walks”


Written by: Megan Cox

By Trixie Lou
a Good Dog

All my family does is take me on walks anymore. I am trying to be a good girl, but I am tired. 

It all started the other day when I saw one of the humans crying. At first, I thought one of the squirrels from outside got inside and tried to attack her, which would have meant I failed (my job is protecting my family from squirrels). But it wasn’t a squirrel —  she was crying because she “lost her job.” I felt sad for her, but I also felt relieved that I still have my job (my job is protecting the family from squirrels). 

After that day, she is all about walking me. I think walking me may be her new job, because she does it all the time.  I used to really like walks. I would see the leash and my tail would start to wag. But now my legs are so tired and I am so exhausted. Also, I got a lot of good things going on for me inside, and we only go on walks outside. For example, I have this really neat bone inside, but I have been going on so many walks I haven’t had any time to chew it. I also have this super cool new toy (I have this fun hobby where I rip my new toys into a gajillion pieces and then make my humans pick up all those pieces). Since I have been going on so many walks, I haven’t had any time to rip up that toy!  I barely have time between getting home from the morning walk and going out on the early afternoon walk to even have some water!

Also no one takes me to the dog park anymore! What’s up with that?! I miss my friends.  I  used to be able to run free with my friends at the dog park, and now I don’t even get to go outside without a leash. Do they think I’ll be mean to the other dogs? Because I don’t care what breed they say I am — I know I am a pit-friendly and not a pit-bully. 

When the quarantine first started, I was so happy. Everyone was home all day to pet me. Even the two human girls who left for “college” are back just to pet me, and I love getting pets. And my mom and dad are home all day too, and they pet me, and I love getting pets. But when I’m going on walks no one is petting me (and I love getting pets). 

Some may say I have a lot of fears: the vacuum cleaner, fireworks, the washing machine, thunderstorms. But now the only thing I fear is the leash. 

I am tired.

Managing Editor

Beans Cox is a crystal carrying, palm/tarot reading, vegan hipster who is obviously from Portland, Oregon. Her favorite type of bean is pinto.

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