Top Ten Quarantine Activities
- Hug the elderly
- Ask for a push from Duo just to feel something
- Not wearing pants anymore because who’s gonna see you?
- Telling family to start calling you by the wrong name so it feels like you’re still going to Starbucks
- Pay Tom Nook like the whore you are
- Don’t shower because the smell kills the virus
- Check the news excessively to see if Trump has the coronavirus yet
- Steal the chairs from Pines because you can’t steal the food
- Holding your own hand because you’re touch-starved
- Go to Half-Dome Lounge, Tuesdays from … oh wait.
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