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La Jolla Playhouse Premiers "Stomp 2", Featuring UCSD’s Custodial Staff
Several audience members paid for a premium package with “splash zone” seating and $80 “Stomp 2” ponchos.Photo by Jack Yang The La Jolla Playhouse recently announced …
Study Fails to Find Evidence That Succulents Add Personality to Dorm Rooms
The companion study researching whether adding a human to a garden of succulents gave it personality was inconclusive.Photo by Jack Yang First-years across the world were …
Trump’s Tariffs Activate Xi Jinping’s Trap Card, Lowers America’s Attack Points by 500
Trump later assured the American public that he bought “the best cards. The most expensive, most valuable, rarest cards.”Photo by Jessica Ma Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham …
Newspaper Alumnus Writes Article to Convince Herself That Her Youth Hasn’t Disappeared
Hanrahan remarked that the paper is not as absorbent as she remembered.Photo by Jack Yang In an unusual turn of events for local satire paper the …
Move-In Day Fiasco Leaves Student Swearing Off On-Campus Housing
“Guys, we should make shirts,” Rivers said, as his roommates avoided eye contact.Photo by Jack Yang After another year of working to find the perfect Move-In …
Freshman Shocked to Discover Nobody Cares About His AP Scores
“You think I can use my five on the AP Stats test for anything other than bragging rights?” asked Shultz. “I paid too much for it …
VMAs Announce New “Urban Music” Category to “Celebrate Diversity”
The committee ultimately decided that Eminem wouldn’t be a part of the section due to his “clearly suburban haircut.”Photo by Jack Yang After their controversial decision …
This Little Piggy Went to a Frat Party, This Little Piggy Has a Bloody Nose Because Becky Offered Her Cocaine…
By Martha ChristiansonFailed Parent Hello! Yeah, hello, Susie! You’re just the cutest baby, huh? Do you want to hear what your siblings were up to last …
Foot Fetishist Reviews Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”
By Westin ToetinoNew Movie Critic Tarantino’s ninth film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a love letter to the glory days of the movie industry, …
Stuart Art Collection Unveils Newest Piece to Upset Students
Augin and Carry commented that it was meant as a reminder that “there’s always time to be an inconvenience.”Photo by Jack Yang Last Tuesday morning, university …
