Top Ten
Top Ten Ways You Know You Peaked in High School
You’re still wearing your letterman jacket four years later Most of your conversations with friends begin with, “Hey, remember that time in precalc…” You occasionally email …
Top Ten Similarities Between Your Midterm and Your Estranged Father
They both failed you Sprung up on you in the middle of your biology class Still surprisingly good at making you feel insecure You have a …
Top Ten Similarities between UCSD on Move-Out Day and the San Diego Zoo
You spent a majority of the time being hopelessly lost Someone keeps playing “Who Let the Dogs Out?” and it stopped being funny hours ago Parking …
Top Fifteen Hobbies Too Extreme for Your Mom to Know About
Driving five over the speed limit Purposefully stepping on cracks Avoiding having to call your grandparents Competitive sleeping Going outside with wet hair Embezzlement Tightrope walking …
Top Ten Reasons to Go Nocturnal This Summer
Dim lighting will hide all of your flaws Your cat won’t have any excuse to ignore you Everyone knows that night school is night cool You …
Top Ten Reasons to Start Smoking
To prove anti-smoking advertising doesn’t work on you Injecting is getting old To get that raspy and gravelly singing voice you need in the country music …
Top Fifteen Ways That Cavemen Were Better than Us
Tinder was important for a different reason They could afford a cave They didn’t use “Neanderthal” as an insult They got to watch “The Flintstones” live …
Top Ten: Ways to Tell If Your Roommate Is in the Mafia
Your room is filled with decapitated horse bodies Their solution to most problems is “I know a guy” Their pasta comes out perfect every time They …
Top Fifteen Similarities Between an Art Gallery and a Truck Stop Glory Hole
“Anybody could do that” People pay $9.99 a month to look at shit You’ve always dreamed of getting jerked off by a stranger there The really …
Top Ten Ways to Make This Unpaid Internship Worthwhile
Finally earn that second accented “e” in resume Learn how to stalk people on LinkedIn Steal Post-It notes and paper clips and fashion them into a …