December 6, 2023 Time traveling since 2088. Volume XXX Issue III

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Reasons Your Independent Movie Flopped

  1. It portrayed an R-rated scene with puppets
  2. You made it free to download, so everyone thought it was a virus
  3. No one wants to see a gritty
  4. VeggieTales remake
  5. Having the same actor play every role in a film only works if they dress up differently
  6. No one would back it because your screenplay was written in Comic Sans
  7. You can barely pretend that you’re having a good day, did you really think you could direct a movie?
  8. Your movie is so independent that it decided instead of becoming a movie, it was going to go to art school
  9. You brought the wrong type of canon and your cast is dead
  10. You thought Sundance was just good luck ritual and you didn’t actually submit your movie.
  11. It starred Adam Sandler

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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