Top Ten
Top Ten Alternatives to Passing Out Halloween Candy to Children
Placing an empty bowl outside your house with a sign that says “Take one” Passing out punch cards to Jimmy John’s with two holes punched out …
Top Ten Atypical Ways to Tell If You Are Pregnant
You got an email confirmation from a stork Everyone keeps asking how far along you are, but you don’t have an essay assigned A quiz told …
Top Ten Things Your Professor Was Thinking While Giving You That Midterm
I’ve already decided that this test’s average will be 37 percent What’s that stain on my khakis? Look at these losers, still having to pay for …
Top Ten Things Your Professor Will Say on the First Day of Class
“Welcome to the first day of class” “I’m giving you my personal email, but I never really check it” “I wrote the textbook” Nothing audible, they …
Top Ten Reasons Why Bees Are Better Coworkers Than People
The bees accept your invite to go out for drinks Bees don’t have a union They don’t always jam the copy machine, like that damn Tom …
Top Ten Reasons That Alarm is Going Off
Apparently Kinetic Sand is not microwavable It’s the fashion police. You’re under arrest You left someone in your car and you forgot you locked it from …
Top Ten Reasons You Should Buy That Chainsaw
Using a bat to break a pinata is just too old school You’re interested in making your juggling act more exciting It was on sale so …
Top Ten Reasons You’re Not Getting Your Security Deposit Back
All the blood You cleaned too rigorously and dissolved the top of the floor There’s no training wheel equivalent when it comes to property ownership The …
