Top Ten Similarities Between Halloween This Year and Halloween When You Were Six
- Everyone’s talking about Harry Potter
- Everyone’s wearing a mask
- Your brother called you a “Halloweenie” and you started crying
- Your mom let you carve your own pumpkin and it looks like shit
- You spent five hours prepping for two hours outside
- You got beat up by the middle schoolers
- The pumpkin you actually want from the pumpkin patch is too heavy for your weak little arms to carry
- You had to get your mom to approve your outfit before you could wear it
- Strangers are terrifying
- You didn’t get any white chocolate Reese’s
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
