December 6, 2023 Time traveling since 2088. Volume XXX Issue III

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Responses to Netflix When It Asks If You’re Still There

  1. Damn bitch, Hulu wasn’t this clingy
  2. Physically, yes. Emotionally, no
  3. Yes, but I’m six feet away
  4. I mean, are any of us, really? What is there, and why do we assign so much value to it?
  5. Of course, I’ll be there for you. You’ve always been there for me
  6. Well, I was gonna run to the store. Do you need anything?
  7. Yeah, I’m watching baby … can I … see some more?
  8. No, I found myself behind the wheel of a large automobile, in the beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. How did I get here?
  9. I would have to be here to answer yes or no, so clearly there is a failure in this system.
  10. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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