Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Reasons Pluto is Making a Comeback

  1. Pluto’s going to fight Mercury when
    its in it’s next retrograde
  2. It’s far away from Earth, where
    all the problems are
  3. Because Elon Musk said so
  4. People didn’t realize what they
    had until it was gone
  5. It’s been 248 years
  6. NASA+ just released a new series
    of merchandise featuring Baby Pluto
  7. There’s increased demand for plutonium
  8. Gru already stole the moon, and
    Dreamworks needed another cash cow
  9. Pluto’s been hitting the gym and
    is almost planet-sized
  10. It’s proving that size doesn’t matter

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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