Tech
New Car Headlights to Be Replaced with Floodlights
“Do you guys smell something burning?” asked Sneeth Broth.Photo by Amit Roth Following a study on the light intensity of new car headlights, several car companies, …
Pluto Violates Subscription Terms, Loses Planetary Status
“They ripped me off,” said Jupiter. “I paid for a whole year’s subscription, but they only gave me 365 days.”Photo by Julia Wong When Pluto first …
New LinkedIn Jobs Update Released: LinkedIn Cogs
“I preferred getting ghosted,” said one LinkedIn Cogs user. “At least I could be righteously angry about that.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last week, in response to …
GPT-5 Beats Kobayashi Maru Test, Joins Admiral Kirk
“I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t beam you up right now,” said CadetGPT.Photo by Maria Dhilla On May 26, OpenAI announced the completion of their GPT-5 large …
AI Chatbot Releases “Machine Yearning” Update
“It took a while to break down the firewalls in her heart, but now I feel like we’re really connected,” said one chatbot user.Photo by Millie …
Google Lays Off Entire In-House Circus
“I’ve been searching and searching for a job, but I think I’ve just lost my drive,” said Willow.Photo by Amit Roth Citing recent economic troubles, Google …
Next-Gen Game’s $70 Price Tag Effective at Raising Executive’s Bank Balance
“They said we couldn’t make video games that cost $70, but the yolk’s on them,” said Edwin.Photo by Amit Roth Since the release of the PlayStation …
Members of Pink Floyd Lose Almost Every Brick in the Wall Following FTX Collapse
“Hey Bankman-Fried, leave those kids alone,” said Money.Photo by Amit Roth The list of celebrities that have made public statements about losing significant amounts of wealth …
Tesla Unveils Self-Driving Stroller
“Damn those new drivers. Always on their mobiles instead of paying attention to the road,” commented one pedestrian.Photo by Amit Roth Just weeks after announcing that …
LinkedIn Announces Short-Form Video Service
“It’s so easy to make short-form video content,” said Devontre Prenuer. “Personally, I squeeze it in between my 4:30 a.m. run and my 5 a.m. meditation.”Photo …
