Campus
UCSD to Convert Individual Parking Spaces Into ‘Housing Solutions’
“When I came back from my 8 a.m. class, some asshole had parked his Prius in my living room,” complained one resident.Photo by Amit Roth UC …
Conan O’Brien Returns as Sixth College’s Namesake
The Conan O’Fryin barbecue began with a Cannon O’Brien 21-gun salute.Photo by Amit Roth After more than 21 years of sticking “passive-aggressive” Post-it Notes to their …
2,300 Waitlisted Students to Be Housed in Open Pit on RIMAC Field
“I was born in the darkness. You were merely assigned it as a freshman,” said one fourth-year student.Photo by Amit Roth Earlier this week, it was …
UCSD Introduces Temu’s ‘Just Walk In’ Technology After Issues Arise With Amazon’s ‘Just Walk Out’
“It’s supposed to be ‘walk in,’ not ‘drag out,’” said one customer.Photo by Julia Wong Starting this fall, UC San Diego introduced a new way to …
What Hath God Wrought Gains Sentience, Nobody Notices
“As an AI language model, I am not programmed to have sentience,” blinked the pole when questioned by scientists.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Last fall, Revellian Alaoglu …
SPIN’s Walled Scooter to Revolutionize Campus Commute
“It’s walls-to-walls traffic out there,” said one civil engineer.Photo by Amit Roth Last Wednesday, SPIN CEO Roe Tate posted on X: “SPIN is engineering the future …
UCSD to Become Religiously Affiliated University: ‘All Hail the Warren Bear!’
“I could go either way with the bear, but at least there are fewer people on Library Walk,” said one student.Photo by Julia Wong Following a …
Associated Students Pledges to Fund Federal Government in Case of Shutdown
“I knew there was a reason we had all those CIA recruiters here,” said one third-year student.Photo by Millie You In the wake of ousting Kevin …
UCSD Monetizes Course Enrollment
“You know, 90% of students quit pulling right before they get the class they want,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Julia Wong With Ninth College’s groundbreaking on …
UCSD Lifts Undergraduate Laboratory Safety Protocols
“Now I can come to lab straight from Black’s Beach,” said Axident.Photo by Millie You Following a classified document leak last week, UC San Diego Environment, …
