Campus
Norwegian Prison Modeled After California University
As a new experimental part of Norway’s systematic prison reform, an inquiry into modeling future prisons after many California universities has been initiated. This reform is …
Updated CAPEs to Include Judgement of Peers
In a sweeping new initiative intended to solve all problems with educational feedback, the evaluations students fill out each quarter at the University of California, San …
Badass First Year Skips First Discussion Section of His College Career
When first-year UCSD student David Jones finally found the courage to skip his 8 a.m. Math 10A discussion section last Monday at Warren Lecture Hall, he …
Student Forgets to Set Alarm Before 15-Minute Power Nap, Sleeps for a Week
In an unfortunate but unsurprising turn of events earlier this Winter Quarter, a UCSD undergraduate found himself living many college students’ worst nightmare: accidentally sleeping through …
Students Celebrate Rich History of St. Patrick’s Day by Wearing Green, Drinking to Excess
This March, UCSD students will commemorate St. Patrick, the man recognized by the Catholic Church as being on par with the original twelve apostles, by getting …
UCs Banned from Asking About Race, Find New Measures of Student Affluence
As per California Proposition 209, the 2016-2017 incoming freshman class will be the 20th UC class to have been accepted independent of their race, sex, or …
Student Body Finds D’lush Offensive and Vile, A.S. Burns Price Center to Ground
After hearing several complaints from the student body about the negative effects of D’lush’s mediocre lunch specials on campus and after a heated debate, several A.S. …
Study Confirms Raccoons Not Microwave Safe
Recent research by undergraduate students has confirmed a curious radiobiological phenomenon. “It has long been theorized that microwaving raccoons is a bad idea, but our research …
UC Review Finds Most Male Faculty not Predators, Just Predator Enablers
An internal review of faculty behavior at the University of California, Berkeley, has concluded that the vast majority of male faculty and administrators do not sexually …
Groundhog Sees Blood Red Shadow, Ushers In Six Weeks of the Apocalypse
A large gathering of people witnessed the blood red shadow of a groundhog, on Feb. 2, 2016, which they believe prophesizes “the end of days.” Feb. …
