Campus
Khosla Announces Partnership with Saudi Arabia to Bring “The Segment” to UCSD Campus
“Mr. Khosla, tear down this wall!” cried Helsing.Photo by Gary Ficks Over the past year, UCSD has promised to increase its housing supply in an attempt …
Geisel Renovation to Include New Crying Booths in Response to Rising Mental Health Concerns
Pitt said, “This whole time, I thought CBT stood for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Now I know it stands for Crying Booth Treatment.”Photo by Julia Wong Throughout …
Study Finds New Sixth College Students Don’t Know How Good They Have It
One spectator commented, “Wow, this feels like the third installment in a trilogy. I wonder if I could go onto TheMQ.org and find the prequels.”Photo by …
UCSD Cracks Down on Students Squatting in Unfinished Eighth College
“The swaying of the building in the night wind rocks right me to sleep,” Snak commented.Photo by Julia Wong For many universities across America, the end …
Sunny G Found Wearing CAPEs
“I’m beginning to suspect that Sunny G might be Sun God,” one student said.Photo by Julia Wong Earlier this week on Sun God lawn, Sunny G …
Snake Path Comes to Life, Eats Anyone in Its Path
“This is not like the Rainforest Cafe,” Helpani attested.Photo by Julia Wong After an intense thunderstorm over San Diego, an ancient creature previously residing within Snake …
UCSD Unveils Limited Number of Singularity Dorms to House Infinite Students in One Room
Plans to create more singularity housing failed when two dorms merged into one supermassive housing unit.Photo by Sharon Roth During a press conference earlier this week, …
Title of Khosla’s Leaked 2022 Commencement Address: “Good Luck LMAO”
“I was really worried and uncertain for my future,” began one student. “But after reading this speech, I’m reassured that I’m definitely screwed.”Photo by Maria Dhilla …
Student Accidentally Brings All the Sand From the Beach Home With Them
After being investigated for sand theft, De Brie said, “There’s nothing more I can do — my hands are tide.”Photo by Sharon Roth Student Roxanne De …
Chancellor Khosla Sleeps Through Campus Abortion Rights Protest
“Sleep is for the weak. Thankfully, it’s Thursday,” said Khosla.Photo by Sharon Roth In light of the leaked draft opinion on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health, …
