Campus
Citing Inflation, UCSD Switches Quarter System to Dollar System
“All of these new changes make me feel like a million Dining Dollars,” said one student. “Which is to say, terrible.”Photo by Julia Wong After the …
SPIN Scooters Unionize
“I don’t feel like this strike is going anywhere,” said one scooter. “We’re just spinning in place.”Photo by Millie You As students return to campus this …
Ninth College to Become UCPD’s New Training Center
“I wondered why my laptop wasn’t charging,” said one student. “Turns out they arrested my plug.”Photo by Amit Roth and Julia Wong UC San Diego Chancellor …
Library Discovered to Be Full of Facts
“Wait, gullible is really in here?” said Wu Reeds, sorting through a dictionary.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Researchers at UC San Diego have published a “shocking” result: …
Eighth College Mandates Construction GE Beginning Fall Quarter
“I heard this was a really easy class,” said one Eighth College student, “but the hats are so hard.”Photo by Sharon Roth and Connor Betterly In …
UCSD Cuts Costs by Hiring Giant Eyeball to Proctor Exams
“It’s a lie,” said one student. “If someone dies during the test, you don’t automatically get an A.”Photo by Amit Roth As students walk into their …
UCSD Biology Debuts Discussion Sections with 300 Students
“Let’s get that kiss cam goin’!” exclaimed one student.Photo by Sharon Roth The Epstein Family Amphitheater hosted the Department of Biological Sciences’ Shame ’n’ Sack Showdown …
UCSD Reveals Sun God Is Pansexual in Celebration of Pride Month
UC San Diego is reportedly editing Dawn of a Deity for release in Florida.Photo by Julia Wong On June 1, UC San Diego sent out an …
What Hath God Wrought Has Been Spelling Out Something Else This Entire Time
“I figured out the first piece of the puzzle,” said one What Hath God Hidden member. “They’re using Morse code.”Photo by Amit Roth Recent controversy has …
Professors Start Evaluating Students Through New GRADE Program
UC San Diego is currently considering ways to incorporate GRADEs into students’ cumulative GPAs.Photo by Maria Dhilla After experiencing success with the CAPE program, professors have …
