Campus
ITS Announces Hiring of Carrier Pigeons to Improve ResNet Speeds
“My carrier pigeon isn’t helping at all. It built a ResNest in my dorm!” exclaimed one student.Photo by James Woolley In response to growing complaints, UCSD’s …
UCSD Announces New “DILF”-Focused Research Center to Promote Equality
“This project has fathered many other studies,” said Simgod Friend.Photo by James Woolley Following the reveal of the Human Milk Institute, UCSD announced the Human Observation …
Student Explodes After Discovering They’re An Extra on The Truman Show
“What? It was time to BeReal,” said Snot.Photo by Sharon Roth A large commotion that “wasn’t a fire alarm for once” was reported by Sixth College …
SPIN Scooter Claims First Life at UCSD Campus
“My philosophy professor asked me what I would do when faced with the trolley problem,” said one SPIN user. “Today I found out.”Photo by Julia Wong …
Professor Branches Out to Streaming Professionally After Lecture Recordings Succeed
“I got banned from Twitch chat,” alleged one student. “Can I still pass the class?”Photo by Amit Roth The COVID-19 pandemic forced many aspects of modern …
UCSD to Sell Triton2Go Boxes as Christmas Presents for Future Biologists
“When they said UCSD had a weird culture, this is not what I thought they meant,” said Wheatthins.Photo by Romella Sagatelian Last week, HDH announced that …
UCSD Dining Hall Hires Skeleton Crew
“The new employees have been really skimpy with the portions,” shared Belmont. “The burritos are bare bones.”Photo by Julia Wong Across UCSD, dining halls have struggled …
Vampire Appreciation Club Promotes Dress Code Change
“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Romella Sagatelian During UC San Diego’s first week of instruction, …
UCSD to Repaint Geisel Lobby After Redesign Blinds Students
“We want students to be drawn to the library like moths to a flame,” said Gibbons.Photo by Julia Wong Upon the recent unveiling of the new …
Academic Integrity Violators Sent to Boingo’s Bathhouse
“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Sharon Roth The previous motto of UC San Diego, “Plagiarize …
