The MQ

"I'm ready to die now. Tonight"

- Katya Zamolodchikova,
The Only High-Class Russian Whore 

June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII
  • Home
  • Articles
    • News
      • Campus
      • Local
      • Politics
      • Tech
    • Opinion
      • Editorial
      • Point – Counter Point
  • Features
    • Center Spread
    • Back Page
  • Other Content
    • Top Ten
    • Briefs
    • Sunday Comics
    • Online Exclusives
    • Skyboxes
  • Volumes
  • Join Us
  • About
    • Staff
    • Editors
  • Contact
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • TikTok
    • Email

Top Ten Top Tens

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

March 10, 2021

Top Ten Top Tens

  1. Top Ten Reasons the Chickens are Staging a Coup
  2. Top Ten Failed Broadway Musicals
  3. Top Ten Lesser-Known Crimes That Will Still Get You 30 to Life
  4. Top Ten Ways Your Life Has Gotten Worse Since Your Dad Got a Power Drill
  5. Top Ten Reasons You Should Always Carry an Incredibly Sharp Pair of Scissors
  6. Top Ten Differences Between Your Crush and a Bucket Full of Teeth
  7. Top Ten Reasons The Queen of England Is Holding Out on Dying
  8. Top Ten Similarities Between Jury Duty and Microwaving a Three-Day-Old Burrito
  9. Top Ten People Who Hate Their Dads
  10. Top Ten Dilemmas Faced by the Squirrel Congress
The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

27.5 Volume 27 Volume 27 Issue 5

Last modified: March 9, 2021

Half-Dome Lounge
Tuesdays, 6-7 p.m.

Discord Logo

Contact us by pager, or just join our Discord.

Instagram Logo

Looking for more satire? Check out our Instagram exclusives!

The News in Brief

  • June 10, 2026

    AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

    In a recent internet frenzy, users have crowned autism as the new “trendy thing to have.” Followers of this trend have flooded social media sites with …

  • GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

    June 10, 2026

  • UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

    June 10, 2026

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

    June 10, 2026

  • Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

    March 11, 2026

  • Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

    March 11, 2026

  • BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

    March 11, 2026

High in fiber! Feels even better coming out than going in.

MQ Self-Ad Banner

First they came for the gays, then they came for the satirists...

MQ Self-Ad Banner

Award-losing Journalism!

MQ Self-Ad Banner

Online Exclusive

  • June 10, 2026

    Pharmaceutical Company Unveils New ‘Soma’ Wellness Pills

    On March 8, Bernard Huxley, CEO of “wellness corporation” HuxleyHealth, which offers Instagram Reel–based primary care and supplementals announced BigBrother would be releasing a line of …

Purrusing the Paper

MQ Self-Ad Banner

You wouldn’t steal
a newspaper!

A car, however...

MQ Self-Ad Banner
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • About The MQ
  • Issuu
Powered by WordPress and Story Magazine.

© 2026 The Muir Quarterly