Top Ten Ways Your Life Has Gotten Worse Since Your Dad Got a Power Drill

1. Your dad keeps building you bunk beds, but you’re an only child
2. Your dad’s been searching for treasure in the backyard and has never heard of a shovel
3. There’s been a lot of drilling late at night in your parents’ room
4. Too many paintings on the walls
5. He was finally able to finish that shed in your backyard, which finally gave him the confidence to divorce your mom
6. Your parents started having kids for all the extra chairs
7. Any cheese you buy now becomes Swiss
8. Building 20 chairs has so far been the weirdest way he’s coped with not getting custody
9. He can’t find a power outlet, so he just makes the drilling noises himself
10. Your dog found it, and let’s just say your mailman is never coming back