November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Reasons You Should Always Carry an Incredibly Sharp Pair of Scissors

  1. Swallowing swords has gotten way too easy for you
  2. Taking your shirt off normally isn’t as fun as just cutting it off
  3. In case you want to run with them
  4. To cut through all that police tape that’s still around your apartment
  5. To surprise your nemesis the next time you play rock-paper-scissors
  6. “Are you telling me you don’t normally use scissors to eat a sandwich?”
  7. To let everyone know you don’t need little kid scissors anymore
  8. To exact swift, sweet revenge for any future paper cuts
  9. Surgery isn’t just for medical professionals nowadays
  10. It’s surprisingly difficult to find an incredibly dull pair of scissors

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *