Volume 31 Issue 1

FeaturesOther Features

Which Major Should You Choose?

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesNationalNews

Following Ecological Destruction, Fisherman Fishes for Compliments

Written by: Theo Erickson

“You’re telling me this fertilizer doesn’t make the water grow faster?” asked one fisherman.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala The loose parking brake of an unattended truck full …

FeaturesOther Features

Little Chats With Melvin McQuerey

Written by: The MQ

Sunday Comics

NEXT!

Written by: Dylan Schmidt

ArticlesCampusNews

Toxic Workplace Environments Perfect for Crop Growth

Written by: Janice Kim

The phrase “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” was found to be one of the most reliable fertilizers.Photo by Jordan Whitlow After world hunger was solved during Summer Session II, the …

ArticlesCampusNews

Sunshine Market Maximizes Convenience by Abolishing the Illusion of Choice

Written by: Abby Offenhauser

“I tried to take the bell pepper out of my basket, and three store employees tackled me,” said shopper Anne Flaxis. “I’m allergic!”Photo by Liv Gilbert …

Sunday Comics

Meow Tools

Written by: Dylan Towner

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

I NEED the Library to Be Open 24/7 vs. Who Actually Needs 24 Hours to Study Anyway?

Written by: Dylan Towner

POINT: I NEED the Library to Be Open 24/7 I’d like to start off by saying that Geisel is my favorite study spot. Come midterms and …

Skyboxes

ArticlesNationalNewsPolitics

Trump Solves Twelfth Major Crisis of the Week

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“Crisis is my middle name. My name is Donald Crisis Trump,” said Donald Crisis Trump.Photo by Liv Gilbert On September 22, Donald Trump held his twelfth …