Volume 30
2,300 Waitlisted Students to Be Housed in Open Pit on RIMAC Field
“I was born in the darkness. You were merely assigned it as a freshman,” said one fourth-year student.Photo by Amit Roth Earlier this week, it was …
San Diego Named Least Expensive City to Live in the U.S.
Following a rapid decline in rent prices, San Diego fell off of the U.S. News & World Report’s list of most expensive places to live in …
UCSD Introduces Temu’s ‘Just Walk In’ Technology After Issues Arise With Amazon’s ‘Just Walk Out’
“It’s supposed to be ‘walk in,’ not ‘drag out,’” said one customer.Photo by Julia Wong Starting this fall, UC San Diego introduced a new way to …
Chuck E. Cheese Denies Five Nights at Freddy’s Connection after ABduction
Last Friday evening, a child was reported missing after attending a birthday party at the Pasadena Chuck E. Cheese location. Following the Pasadena Police Department’s report …
My First Bonfire Wasn’t as Magical as They Said It Would Be
For as long as I’ve resided in this field, I’ve heard the same hangout plans from a new group every day: “Let’s have a bonfire next …
Geisel Wormhole Claims Over 1,200 Students, Solving UCSD’s Housing Crisis
“I’ve been getting sucked into my studies like never before,” said one second-year student.Photo by Julia Wong UC San Diego is “still reeling” after Thursday’s “freak …
Revelle Adds HUM 5BL: Applied Practical Humanities
“There’s an impressively large body of literature associated with this subject,” noted one Revellian.Photo by James Woolley A mid widespread dissatisfaction regarding the Revelle College general …
Housing, Dining & Hospitality Announces Draft
“The selective service currently has an acceptance rate of 34.2%,” said General Khosla.Photo by James Woolley On Monday, UC San Diego revealed its plans to enact …
What Hath God Wrought Gains Sentience, Nobody Notices
“As an AI language model, I am not programmed to have sentience,” blinked the pole when questioned by scientists.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Last fall, Revellian Alaoglu …
