Volume 29
Pluto Violates Subscription Terms, Loses Planetary Status
“They ripped me off,” said Jupiter. “I paid for a whole year’s subscription, but they only gave me 365 days.”Photo by Julia Wong When Pluto first …
Absolut Unveils Pink-Flavored, Mercury-Infused Vodka for Pride Month
“LGBT stands for Let’s Get Buzzed Together,” said John Deackon, an Absolut brand representative.Photo by Amit Roth This week, Absolut Vodka announced a new Pride month …
God Continues to Send Prophetic Dreams to Man Who Never Remembers His Dreams
“The rain is looking a little red, and there have been a lot of frogs and locusts, but I think that’s just climate change,” said Palm.Photo …
Furries Don’t Belong at the Met Gala vs Meow
Is this what it’s come to? Furries at the Met Gala? Jabbering in full meow-speak, no less. To her credit, Doja Cat has always been upfront …
La Jolla Village Square Parking Lot Replaced With “The Pit”
“I love the pit,” said one Ralphs customer. “My 2005 Toyota Sienna went in, and a brand new Lamborghini came out.”Photo by Maria Dhilla On Sunday, …
We Should Respectfully Ask HDH to Charge Less for Food vs Hop In Comrade, We’re Seizing the Means of Production
Point: We Should Respectfully Ask HDH to Charge Less for Food Look, I know that we’re all getting annoyed at the fact that HDH always seems …
UCSD Announces New Quantum Art Department
Photo by Amit Roth Early Wednesday morning, UC San Diego announced the creation of the Department of Quantum Art in collaboration with several private donors. In …
US Army Brings ROTC to Preschools
After two weeks of basic combat training, new BIB recruits will be expected to complete two weeks of intensive potty training.Photo by Amit Roth Over the …
UCSD Debuts Mini Quadruple Rooms to Address Housing Shortages
Photo by Amit Roth Following UC San Diego’s announcement that only one of the Eighth College dorms would house students in Fall 2023, UCSD released a …
