Volume 27
The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence
The Elusive “Jack” Referred to by Joe Biden Finally Breaks His Silence According to the latest reports from the CIA, the ubiquitous “Jack” commonly referred to …
Election Results Uncertain, US to be Returned to the United Kingdom
Paul Revere forgot to bring the mini sandwiches to the Boston Tea Party.Photo by Jack Yang The British Parliament, responding to claims of election fraud within the …
Local Phantom Kicked Out of Opera for Ineffective Mask
Local Phantom Kicked Out of Opera for Ineffective Mask A regular guest of the Paris Opera House known as “The Phantom of the Opera” was recently …
Mall Santa “a Little Too Eager” To Let Kid Sit On His Lap
Jones reportedly signed a non-disclosure agreement with a statute of limitations claus.Photo by Jack Yang Public suspicion has been rising surrounding Heritage Plaza Mall Santa Carl Jones, …
Buddy the Elf Passes Bathroom Singing Bill
Buddy the Elf Passes Bathroom Singing Bill December 3 marked the passing of the Singing Rights Bill in the Senate. The bill, proposed by North Pole …
We trained an AI on 1,000 hours of YouTube cooking videos and it turned into a YouTuber
Well, we done messed this
one up. Our bad. The interns
we stole from reputable
engineering companies were
SUPPOSED to create an AI,
force it to watch 1,000 hours
of cooking videos on YouTube,
and then have it make us tasty
treats in eternal servitude…
The MQ’s Guide to HallMarQ Movies
The MQ’s Guide to HallMarQ Movies
Moviegoers Petition to Implement New “PP” Rating for Pre-Pandemic Films, Citing Dangerous Behavior
Theaters have increased the number of showing times for Jim Carrey’s “The Mask.”Photo by Stephen Lightfoot A new viral campaign, called the PG-PP Movement, has emerged …
Academic Integrity Office Overwhelmed by Instances of Students “Venting” During Exam
A hard limit was placed on emergency meetings called during quizzes.Photo by Sharon Roth The Academic Integrity Office has reported 425 new cases of students being …
Politics Aren’t That Important vs. Yes, So You Shouldn’t Vote
Point: Politics Aren’t That Important By Benny Rourke Ambivalent Democrat/Moderate If you don’t want to vote, honestly it won’t bug me that much. I, for one, …
