Volume 24
P/CP: I Am an Ideal Mate/I Am an Uninterested Lesbian
POINT: I Am an Ideal Mate Most of my attempts to contact to you have failed, so I am resorting to something that – based on the …
Fountain of Youth Revealed to Be Forever 21
The Forever 21 in the La Jolla University Town Center was recently discovered by locals to be the coveted Fountain of Youth. The regional manager, Cheryl …
Local 34-Year-Old Couch Potato Decides To Take Up Snowboarding
Following the 2018 Winter Olympics medal ceremony in which American teenagers Chloe Kim and Red Gerard earned gold medals in snowboarding, average couch potato Eaton McDonald …
Trump Administration Scandal-Free for 13.5 Hours
President Trump has caused many quarrels among the people of the United States about the frequency with which he has created controversies over the course of …
Obsessive Anime Fan Claims Waifu as Dependent, Goes Unnoticed by IRS
Recently, a post from Reddit has gone viral in which a man tells the story of how he claimed his “waifu” – Asuna Yuuki from Sword …
UC San Diego Offering New Bachelor of Memes Program
Next year, UC San Diego plans to graduate its first class in the Bachelor of Memes (BM) program. The program is an interdisciplinary program between the …
Investigation Finds Rhode Island Is Not an Island
The state of Rhode Island was once thought to be the fringe belief by conspiracy theorists and rogue cartographers alike, but enough evidence has been leaked …
Student Unsure How Person Across From Them on the Shuttle Feels About Them
An anonymous student on the North Campus shuttle going from the Regents Lot to Price Center last Wednesday at 11:13 a.m. reported feeling “unsure” about how …
Putin Invited into Trump’s Tree House, but Not in a “Buddy Buddy” Way
On February 13, international news publications reported that U.S. troops killed up to 100 Russian fighters after they attacked a U.S. held base in Syria. At …
RateMyProfessors Adds New Varieties of Peppers To Its Hotness Rating
On Saturday, the popular website RateMyProfessors.com revolutionized its rating process by adding more ranking to its “hotness” rating. Previously signified by the options “Yeah” or “Um, …
