Obsessive Anime Fan Claims Waifu as Dependent, Goes Unnoticed by IRS


Written by: Pilan Scruggs

“Yes, I think that she would definitely be classified as a dependent,” watanabe-chann told reporters, “She basically needs me to stand upright.”
Photo by: Daniel Clinton

Recently, a post from Reddit has gone viral in which a man tells the story of how he claimed his “waifu” – Asuna Yuuki from Sword Art Online – as a dependent on his 2015 and 2016 tax returns and went undetected by the IRS. The man, who goes by the username “watanabe-chann” on Reddit, asked to remain anonymous for security purposes. He also refused to reveal his face, instead opting to hide himself behind his body pillow throughout the interview.

“I’ve been a fan of Sword Art Online for ages, and two years ago when I was rewatching Sword Art Online II for the 34th time, I just randomly had the idea,” explained watanabe-chann. “I was scared at first to try it, but when I reminded myself which government I was dealing with, all my fears went straight out the window. The only really frightening part was applying for an ITIN for my Asuna pillow. I figured that if I could pull that off, then claiming her as a dependent would be no problem. And look where we are now.”

Watanabe-chann continued, saying that for weeks after he mailed in his returns, he was living in a constant fear of an IRS agent showing up at his door to confront him.

“I would wake up every morning sweating, wondering whether or not I had done the right thing,” watanabe-chann explained. “But whenever I had any doubts, I would just remind myself that I was doing it for Asuna. I love her and she means the world to me, and I wasn’t going to let anything interfere with that. I think October was when I finally stopped waking up shaking.

“I thought I had just gotten lucky, but as the next filing period approached I considered doing it again. Eventually I was just like, ‘whatever happens, happens.’ I went and claimed her as a dependent again, and once again got no sign that the IRS even remotely noticed. It really says something about the people working there.”

Most of the comments on his post came from users applauding his actions or asking him for advice on how they could follow his lead. However, some negative comments arose reprimanding not his actions, but his choice of waifu.

“Of all of the characters you could have chosen,” said user b.grayman, “you picked Asuna??!?!? You have no taste, and for that I hope you get caught. At least pick Yuno Gasai or Lucy from Elfen Lied. If your waifu isn’t a yandere you’re doing something wrong”

B.Grayman’s remark sparked a “waifu war” with over 400 users replying, and the page quickly spiralled out of control. Eventually, a moderator tried to contain the arguments, but to no avail.

“I’m just doing this because I have to, and it’s not that I like r/anime or anything,” read the official moderator post. “And for what it’s worth, Sugu’s far better of a person than Asuna will ever be.”

“I never meant to start such horrible arguments, but to be honest I couldn’t care less what b.grayman or anyone else thinks about me,” watanabe-chann said, sighing. “We should all get along, and I would love to help others out so that they can claim their waifus and husbandos on their returns for this period.”

Watanabe-chann said that he has already submitted his 2017 returns, claiming Asuna Yuuki as his dependent once again. In response, David Kautter, acting commissioner of the IRS, declined to comment on the situation due to reportedly being in the middle of binge-watching Sailor Moon.

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