New Candidate for New York’s 3rd Congressional District Announced

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Soon after the House of Representatives voted to expel George Santos from his position, several candidates from both sides of the aisle announced their bids for …


UCSD Transportation Services Debuts Airline

Written by: Abby Offenhauser

“What’s the deal with HDH airline food?” asked one student.Photo by Connor Betterly This weekend, Chancellor Pradeep Khosla announced that, in an effort to ease students’ …


Psychoanalysis Wrapped — Your Top Armchair Diagnoses in 2023

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

If your day-to-day interactions with strangers were anything to go by, 2023 was a hard year for you. You exhibited 2,133 different typical behaviors that people …


UCSD Announces Plan to Become Carbon Neutral

Written by: Erica Rosslee

“The warmth of Chancellor Khosla’s new car is enough for all of Sixth College,” said one student.Photo by Julia Wong In order to become carbon neutral, …


Rocket Launch ‘Went Perfectly’

Written by: Connor Betterly

After another launch of SpaceX’s Starship rocket culminated in a “rapid unscheduled disassembly,” one expert noted: “This means that it blew up (in other words, the …


Goodnight Moon Challenged in Schools After Debate Regarding Moon’s Existence

Written by: Ava D'Amore

“It’s time for us to say goodnight to the nefarious influence of this book,” said one parent.Photo by Millie You The string of conservative-led book bans …


UCSD to Replace All Footpaths with Scooter-Only Lanes

Written by: Naomika Nadkarni

In a controversial decision last Tuesday, the UC San Diego facilities department announced a plan to convert all the footpaths on campus into scooter-only lanes. Ryder …


UCSD Introduces Productivity Pods to Help Students Study

Written by: Bitsy Hsu

“These are apparently a part of the new study a-pod program,” said Stanly Wrighter.Photo by Erica Rosslee In preparation for the upcoming final exams, UC San …


Humans Declared Critically Endangered by ‘Guy Who Can’t Get Laid’

Written by: Erica Rosslee

An intern for the Environmental Protection Agency recently declared humans an endangered species on the agency’s X account. The post was quickly retracted by the intern’s …


Rats Unionize

Written by: Dylan Towner

UC San Diego’s rodent population has recently received recognition as an organized union by campus administration. The Lab Rats’ 12-month campaign has garnered them protections against …