30.3
New Candidate for New York’s 3rd Congressional District Announced
Soon after the House of Representatives voted to expel George Santos from his position, several candidates from both sides of the aisle announced their bids for …
Psychoanalysis Wrapped — Your Top Armchair Diagnoses in 2023
If your day-to-day interactions with strangers were anything to go by, 2023 was a hard year for you. You exhibited 2,133 different typical behaviors that people …
UCSD Transportation Services Debuts Airline
“What’s the deal with HDH airline food?” asked one student.Photo by Connor Betterly This weekend, Chancellor Pradeep Khosla announced that, in an effort to ease students’ …
Rocket Launch ‘Went Perfectly’
After another launch of SpaceX’s Starship rocket culminated in a “rapid unscheduled disassembly,” one expert noted: “This means that it blew up (in other words, the …
UCSD Announces Plan to Become Carbon Neutral
“The warmth of Chancellor Khosla’s new car is enough for all of Sixth College,” said one student.Photo by Julia Wong In order to become carbon neutral, …
UCSD to Replace All Footpaths with Scooter-Only Lanes
In a controversial decision last Tuesday, the UC San Diego facilities department announced a plan to convert all the footpaths on campus into scooter-only lanes. Ryder …
Goodnight Moon Challenged in Schools After Debate Regarding Moon’s Existence
“It’s time for us to say goodnight to the nefarious influence of this book,” said one parent.Photo by Millie You The string of conservative-led book bans …
Humans Declared Critically Endangered by ‘Guy Who Can’t Get Laid’
An intern for the Environmental Protection Agency recently declared humans an endangered species on the agency’s X account. The post was quickly retracted by the intern’s …
UCSD Introduces Productivity Pods to Help Students Study
“These are apparently a part of the new study a-pod program,” said Stanly Wrighter.Photo by Erica Rosslee In preparation for the upcoming final exams, UC San …
Rats Unionize
UC San Diego’s rodent population has recently received recognition as an organized union by campus administration. The Lab Rats’ 12-month campaign has garnered them protections against …
