Articles
Why Does This College Named After Me Have so Little Plant Life?
It used to be an honor to be attached to a UCSD college. In the ghost world, I secured loads of connections just by pointing that …
UCSD Announces Plans for Khosla to Head Sun God Festival Lineup
Undergraduates have, with more frequency as of late, been using Sun God Festival to relax in between midterms for the past 35 years. More recently, however, …
Re-Gifting PCP
Point: Re-gifting Should Become a More Socially Acceptable Practice Gifting culture needs to change now. I recently went to a Secret Santa party with all my …
Recyclables Now Part of Water Cycle
Many people in Seattle, Washington expressed surprise when, instead of the usual rainy weather that greeted them, a variety of bottles and cans landed on their …
Area Ass Just Won’t Quit
After many of her Twitter followers called for her to retire and local teenagers nicknamed her “the Dumbass of San Diego,” area Ass Fanny Kiester announced …
Students Take Bank Robbery Work-Study in Lieu of Financial Aid
Chancellor Khosla revealed his upcoming plan to solve financial aid difficulties undergraduate students struggle with on Sunday. “With students complaining about the financial aid office never …
Yale Law School Replaces LSAT Requirement with Drinking Game Tournament
Yale University, the number one ranking law school in the United States, has instituted a dramatic change to its admissions policy. Rather than having applicants take …
Cattle Sympathy Campaign Backfires, Consumers Excited to Eat Beef That Bears Their Name
Animal rights activists swarmed supermarkets early this October and placed the names and pictures on meat packaging of cows that were slaughtered. Their ultimate goal was …
Parking Lot to Be Removed, New Location for Parking Removal Committee Headquarters
UC San Diego Transportation Services announced on Monday that the Hopkins Parking Structure will be demolished in June 2019. In addition, Transportation Services announced that a …
Congress Increases Government Transparency, Will Install New Windows
Following accusations of a biased closed confirmation hearing of Brett Kavanaugh, Congress passed a Republican-sponsored bill “increasing congressional transparency” by installing larger glass windows on the …
