Articles
A Reflection on the Past Decade Shows That Things Really Are Improving
With the year of optometry rapidly approaching, many of you are reminiscing on the past decade and wondering what will happen next. Some of you, in …
New Leaked Brexit Document Reveals Plan for US to Annex United Kingdom, Secede Florida to EU
The British were reportedly confused about why there was sweet tea in their harbor.Photo by Silver Wallace The United Kingdom is set to leave the European Union …
Actor Dies of Cardiac Arrest In Scene Where Grinch’s Heart Grows Three Sizes
Critics referred to Anderson’s portrayal of the Grinch as “a heart-wrenching performance.”Photo by Jack Yang Tragedy struck a high school performance of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch …
Mother Refuses to Cater to Daughter's "Vegan Phase" during Thanksgiving Dinner
Julie Smith decided the centerpiece dish would be the beef between her and her daughter.Photo by Jerry Wu UCSD first-year Marie Smith’s Thanksgiving break has turned into …
Area Writer Admitted to Jacobs Burn Center Due to Burnout
A further look into Stefanovic’s computer revealed 37 work-in-progress documents.Photo by Jack Yang UCSD student Joe Stefanovic, a 20 year-old satire writer, has recently been admitted to …
Costco Sample Guy in Consideration for Michelin Star
Critics’ only complaint was that they could only take one sample at a time.Photo by Jack Yang Longtime employee of Claremont’s Costco Wholesale, Hank McKindle, has been …
Experts Recommend Daylight Roth IRA Over Daylight Savings
Half of the protest reportedly failed to show up because they “fell forward” instead of “falling back.”Photo by Silver Wallace On November 3, residents across San Diego …
Christmas Karaoke Night Turns Political
When arrested, Karen Fletcher reportedly yelled to her daughter, “When I get out on parole, you are SO grounded!”Photo by Jack Yang On Sunday, December 1, the …
Local Student Seeks to Learn Who Gerry Mandering Is
Quill later wanted to find out who “All” was and why they should get Medicare.Photo by Jack Yang First-year ERC student Tara Quill, after just now realizing …
Campus Squirrels Outraged After Hearing About No Nut November
Nibbles was reportedly distraught at how nuts the situation was.Photo by Jack Yang Area squirrels Nibbles and Chipper are furious after being told about the phenomenon known …
