Articles
AWP ‘Diversity Filter’ Working as Intended
“We hold students coming from the most diverse backgrounds to a higher standard, because we know they need it,” said Chancellor Pradeep K. Khosla.Photo by Liv …
What Are You Gonna Do? Not Use It?
That’s right. It’s me. You know of me, you’ve lamented me, you’ve cursed me, you’ve wept for me, I’m certain of it. Nevertheless, I’m the only …
Santa Claus Declared Enemy of State
“My mommy said Santa’s a Democrat, so I think he deserved it,” said local 7-year-old Annie Jones.Photo by Liv Gilbert The United States has announced that …
Medical School Applications to Now Require Credit Score
“The second I become a doctor, I’m defaulting on all my loans,” said Tagley Jones, credit score 682.Photo by Amit Roth The American Association of Medical …
What’s the Point of Going to Lecture Anyhow? vs. Do Not Cite the Medieval Texts to Me Unless It’s in MLA
POINT: What’s the Point of Going toLecture Anyhow? The first piece of advice everyone gave me when I started college was to never, ever, skip lecture, …
UCSD Abolishes Thanksgiving Break
“If Ben Franklin had gotten his way, we would be eating the national bird right now,” said student Reginald Archibald.Photo by Jordan Whitlow At a press …
Grocery Stores Now Stocking Organic, Free-Range Bottled Water
“Compared to me, all those normal water suckers are low-drated,” said WellWater customer and self-proclaimed “clean girl” Hayleigh Zoomer.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala As of early October, …
No, Just Because You Uppercut Me Does Not Mean You’re ‘Punching Up’
Today, one of my dear HUMR 101: Intro to Humor students, who I will call “Jimmy,” came into my office, wound up his fist, and uppercutted …
Local Police to Enact New Recruitment Strategy
“I hear that somewhere during the course, they handcuff you,” said one interested studentwho chose to remain anonymous.Photo by Amit Roth In November 2020, voters unanimously …
Microsoft Introduces Windows Remote Defender
Recent reports claim that federal politicians are “freaking the fuck out.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow In the release notes for the upcoming version 25H1 of Windows 11, …
