Articles
UCSD Replaces Library Walk with Endlessly Shifting Labyrinth
“I actually graduated six years ago,” said one student found in the depths.Photo by Destiney Friday After several complaints about the congestion on Library Walk, the …
Muir Introduces School of Life, MQ Office to Be Removed
“Anyone got space for 26 office chairs and a mannequin?” asked one editor.Photo by Amit Roth This year, Muir College debuts its new “School of Life” …
Philippine Political Dynasty Declares Trump ‘Woke’
Trump allegedly plans to annex the Philippines again in a reported “power move.”Photo by Amit Roth Early Monday morning, thousands gathered in Davao City, Philippines for …
Business Department Mandates Monopoly for Course Credit
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Following a recent survey that revealed that approximately 99.99% …
American Dream Deported
“At least we still have Manifest Destiny,” said Hare.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Leaked internal Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) communications revealed that last week, officers located …
Forks on Roads Increase Traffic
“Silver? Where?” said one driver.Photo by Austin Choy Last month, the Bureau of Accelerating Inland Transportation (BAIT), a recently established California government agency, passed a bill …
My Boss Killed Me in a Past Life – Here’s How I’m Leveraging That in My Career
They say eyes are the window to the soul. And much like a house, when you look through those windows into someone’s soul, you might see …
Wait, You Guys Already Had Your Enrollment Times?
So, here’s the issue. I was under the impression that class enrollment just hadn’t happened for anyone yet. Because when enrollment times came out and WebReg …
Raccoons to Exterminate Pitcher Plants that Exterminate Raccoons
“I’m too smart to fall into a pitcher PLAAAAAAAAAAANT!” said one student.Photo by Jordan Whitlow After a record number of students were offered on-campus housing through …
