Articles
Chancellor Khosla Announces New Evil Department
“Finally, I can pick the greater of two evils,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt An email sent by Chancellor Pradeep Khosla last Thursday announced that …
Las Vegas Consumed by Plague of Moths
“I was drawn to it like a moth to a… like a… like… um…” said one moth.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Only a few months after the …
I Need Coding Help vs What, Like It’s Hard?
A person’s ability to learn a new language declines after age 12, so why am I, in my early 20s, expected to learn and become fluent …
Amazon and Boeing Announce Joint Microtransit Venture
“Still beats flying with United,” said Ahsoak Ingwethi.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Jeff Bezos was flown to the stage by three drones to announce his latest venture, …
I Am the Hydro Flask That Falls in Your Lecture
I hear people have been complaining about the occasional, small, itty-bitty noise that I make when I fall in your 8 a.m. lecture (it’s not like …
US Military Tours Homeless Encampments for Career Exploration
This is an interesting conundrum,” said a member of the middle class. “I respect the troops, but I hate the homeless.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow This past …
Rising Sea Levels to Extinguish Forest Fires
“Californians were happy that they had no more forest fires — before they all drowned,” said Future Senator Petrol G. Ascot.Photo by Julia Wong Chaos broke …
UCSD to Introduce Mini-Triple Rooms
“In this room, my mini fridge looks like a regular fridge,” said Cole Habitation.Photo by Naomika Nadkarni and James Woolley UC San Diego has announced it …
Supreme Court Votes to Abolish Retirement
“Too many vacation days? Take a vacation straight to interview hell,” said a representative of the US Department of More Labor.Photo by Julia Wong Last week, …
SIO Researchers Discover Godzilla off La Jolla Coast
“I always knew my husband was a snack,” said one grieving spouse.Photo by Destiny Friday On March 11, 2024, Scripps Institute of Oceanography researchers on the …
