Editorial
Look Who’s Pissing Me Off Again
It’s that time of the year again. Yes people, the biggest brains of Hollywood have come together to completely fuck over all content made by people …
I’m Ditching Coal This Year for a Cleaner Alternative
By Santa ClausBearer of Gifts Merry Christmas everyone! Old Saint Nick’s here to dispel some not-so-jolly rumors about my business practices. Some grumpy old elves have …
A Reflection on the Past Decade Shows That Things Really Are Improving
With the year of optometry rapidly approaching, many of you are reminiscing on the past decade and wondering what will happen next. Some of you, in …
This Little Piggy Went to a Frat Party, This Little Piggy Has a Bloody Nose Because Becky Offered Her Cocaine…
By Martha ChristiansonFailed Parent Hello! Yeah, hello, Susie! You’re just the cutest baby, huh? Do you want to hear what your siblings were up to last …
Foot Fetishist Reviews Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”
By Westin ToetinoNew Movie Critic Tarantino’s ninth film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a love letter to the glory days of the movie industry, …
My Nonprofit Has Made Significant Measures to Stop Global Warming
I have never been more proud to be a community leader in Hell. After thousands of years of drought, fire, and brimstone, I decided that enough …
Promise You Won’t Get Mad, But …
Promise you won’t get mad? Um, I kind of did a bad thing. But I didn’t mean to do it! It just kind of happened, and …
Editorial: I Wish I Could Make a Difference in Politics, but I Don’t Know How
Like many Americans, I want to make a valuable difference in my community, but it can seem overwhelming and hopeless. How much of a difference could …
Editorial: Liberals Took Away My Parental Rights After I Tried to Make Modern Day Cupid by Handing My Baby a Shotgun
If you ever need yet another reason to realize the end of civilized America is near, look no further than the leftist culture that has stripped …
Why Does This College Named After Me Have so Little Plant Life?
It used to be an honor to be attached to a UCSD college. In the ghost world, I secured loads of connections just by pointing that …
