Editorial
I’m Haunted by Successful People Sharing My Name
My name is Mary Smith. Yes, that Mary Smith. I come from a long line of Mary Smiths, as I was named after my grandma, great-grandma, …
I’m Batman
We live in unprecedented times where world-altering challenges such as climate change, racial injustice, and, of course, the pandemic face us at every corner. For the …
Reagan can Trickle Down on MY Economy
By By Richard Montegomery III Future Millionaire Sometimes it’s hard to be living in America, especially right now because of the whole pandemic thing going on, …
I Joined Four Different D&D Campaigns to Avoid My Own Trauma
(Art by Marcela Longhini) By Jaquelline Dalavash Avid D&D Campaigner Dungeons and Dragons has a reputation for being a nerdy game of dice, hexagons, and plastic …
How I Went From Lexa-Amateur to Lexapro
By Cleo Armstrong Emotionally Numb Bad Bitch Like you all, 2020 has hit me hard. I’m unemployed. Paying rent gets harder and harder every month. My …
What the Fuck, Guys?
By George Washington Cursed Ghost Hey everyone. It’s me. George Washington. I’ve been haunting America since I died. Apparently, I can’t move on now because people …
If 2020 Fucked Everyone, Then How Come I’m Still A Virgin?
By Trenton Toland Freshman Incel When I heard the Fox News Financial Analyst say “2020 fucked everyone,” my initial thought was, “Sweet! Now I don’t have …
Even I, A Poli Sci Major, Have No Idea What the Fuck is Going On
By Jeremy Rossi Fourth-year Poli Sci Student Oftentimes my friends come to me for my hot takes on current events. And who could blame them? As …
Someone, Please Eat My Hasselback Potatoes
I am stupefied. I just took a tray of Hasselback potatoes out of the oven, and for what? Am I about to eat multiple baked potatoes …
Back in My Day, We Had Plague Doctors and That Was Rad as Fuck
Everyone seems to have an opinion on what doctors are doing nowadays, so I want to take this time to speak up for ghosts everywhere because …
