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SPIN’s Walled Scooter to Revolutionize Campus Commute

Written by: Amit Roth

“It’s walls-to-walls traffic out there,” said one civil engineer.Photo by Amit Roth Last Wednesday, SPIN CEO Roe Tate posted on X: “SPIN is engineering the future …

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UCSD to Become Religiously Affiliated University: ‘All Hail the Warren Bear!’

Written by: Abby Offenhauser

“I could go either way with the bear, but at least there are fewer people on Library Walk,” said one student.Photo by Julia Wong Following a …

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RIMAC to Replace All Dumbbells With Shake Weights

Written by: Liv Gilbert

“These weights may suck, but at least I can make a protein shake with them,” said Jim Ratt.Photo by Millie You UC San Diego Recreation announced …

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Citing Inflation, UCSD Switches Quarter System to Dollar System

Written by: Connor Betterly

“All of these new changes make me feel like a million Dining Dollars,” said one student. “Which is to say, terrible.”Photo by Julia Wong After the …

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SPIN Scooters Unionize

Written by: Alberto Ruiz

“I don’t feel like this strike is going anywhere,” said one scooter. “We’re just spinning in place.”Photo by Millie You As students return to campus this …

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Ninth College to Become UCPD’s New Training Center

Written by: Romella Sagatelian

“I wondered why my laptop wasn’t charging,” said one student. “Turns out they arrested my plug.”Photo by Amit Roth and Julia Wong UC San Diego Chancellor …

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Library Discovered to Be Full of Facts

Written by: Pranav Reddy

“Wait, gullible is really in here?” said Wu Reeds, sorting through a dictionary.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Researchers at UC San Diego have published a “shocking” result: …

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Eighth College Mandates Construction GE Beginning Fall Quarter

Written by: Kita Barrientos

“I heard this was a really easy class,” said one Eighth College student, “but the hats are so hard.”Photo by Sharon Roth and Connor Betterly In …

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UCSD Cuts Costs by Hiring Giant Eyeball to Proctor Exams

Written by: Alberto Ruiz

“It’s a lie,” said one student. “If someone dies during the test, you don’t automatically get an A.”Photo by Amit Roth As students walk into their …

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UCSD Biology Debuts Discussion Sections with 300 Students

Written by: James Woolley

“Let’s get that kiss cam goin’!” exclaimed one student.Photo by Sharon Roth The Epstein Family Amphitheater hosted the Department of Biological Sciences’ Shame ’n’ Sack Showdown …