Campus
UCSD Reveals Sun God Is Pansexual in Celebration of Pride Month
UC San Diego is reportedly editing Dawn of a Deity for release in Florida.Photo by Julia Wong On June 1, UC San Diego sent out an …
What Hath God Wrought Has Been Spelling Out Something Else This Entire Time
“I figured out the first piece of the puzzle,” said one What Hath God Hidden member. “They’re using Morse code.”Photo by Amit Roth Recent controversy has …
Professors Start Evaluating Students Through New GRADE Program
UC San Diego is currently considering ways to incorporate GRADEs into students’ cumulative GPAs.Photo by Maria Dhilla After experiencing success with the CAPE program, professors have …
UCSD Implements M.R.S. Degree to Increase Number of Women in STEM
Following the success of the M.R.S. degree, UCSD is looking into creating a “house-husband” degree.Photo by Julia Wong Starting this spring, UC San Diego students will …
Seventh College Installs Decorative Solar Panels
“The cord isn’t long enough to plug into the sun, what’d you expect?” asked the panel installation contractor.Photo by Kaz Nuckowski In an unprecedented strategy to …
Third-Year Math Major Forgets How to Spell Numbers
“Why can’t I just use the letter ‘x’ to represent every number I have to spell? That would be so much easier,” remarked Calculus.Photo by Julia …
Eighth College Named
“Sure, it took us a while to brainstorm the new college name,” said Khosla. “But like they say, the fourth time’s the charm.”Photo by Jacob King …
Tritons Confused by Abstract New Brand Guidelines
“I guess if you can’t tell what their brand is, they can’t do anything that’s off-brand,” stated one student.Photo by Connor Betterly In a bid to …
UCSD Chemists Abandon IUPAC in Favor of “Making Shit Up”
“I’m pretty sure someone labeled the heavy water as regular water,” remarked one slightly heavier lab student.Photo by Millie You After two afternoons of deliberations, the …
UC San Diego Bans Sale of Caffeinated Beverages
“Caffeine is technically a drug,” noted one police officer. “That means it should be illegal.”Photo by Amit Roth Citing a new study by Dr. Walter Jolt-a-Lot, …
