Volume 31 Issue 3
HDH Debuts Caffeinated Breakfasts
“Don’t talk to me ’til I’ve had my morning burrito,” said Sixth College student Calvin Herrington.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following the trends of the beverage industry, …
Sleeper Agent Refuses to Wake Up
Intelligence agent handler Sashley Sandler has been struggling to “wake up” Donny Joe, one of the sleeper agents under her jurisdiction. “He ignores me every time …
My ‘Winter Alpha Arc’ Was Found to Just Be Depression
I’ve been on something of a self-improvement journey as of late. It all started when I was doing my daily doomscrolling, and I came across a …
Susan Bagel: Eggs
A raw egg that falls, splatters. A boiled egg that falls merely cracks. My local supermarket recently began stocking dark yolk eggs. What is a yolk? …
Literature Major Mistakes Sign for Signified
“I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes,” said third-year Literature/Writing major Ace Bassington.Photo by Liv Gilbert Literature major Earnest Bytheway has reportedly mistaken …
A Call to Pirates and Landlubbers Alike
Ahoy there! This be pirate captain Blondebeard, scourge of the seven seas, with an urgent message for all ye mermaids, mermen, and scallywags of unspecified gender …
