Creatine Fanatic
I’ve been on something of a self-improvement journey as of late. It all started when I was doing my daily doomscrolling, and I came across a really cool community dedicated to starting a “winter alpha arc.” I’d been feeling pretty bad about myself at that point, so I took that as a sign to get on that same grindset. I decided to start going to the gym more and trying to eat better, while listening to some sick-ass phonk music like all those cool guys are doing. Unfortunately, I found that I wasn’t making much progress, so I figured there was something wrong with me.
So, I went to the doctor the other day. The nurse gave me a mental health screener; I thought I could hit a new PR and show them how good my mental health was, because all I do is get endorphin rushes all the time from working out. Turns out, I needed to be put on psychiatric hold for depression and poor self-image. Who knew that comparing myself to the biggest guy in the gym was going to ruin how I felt about myself?!? I always thought he was so healthy too; he was always giving himself flu shots in the gym locker room.
I think this all started in the summer though. I forced my girlfriend to break up with me because I figured she was holding me back from my epic self-improvement journey that I was definitely going to start soon, but now I keep thinking about her and I just wish I could share a pint of ice cream with her again. My social media is showing me how I should do cute couple things in the gym, but I don’t have a muscle mommy to give “brr baskets” and all that cute shit. It’s bad enough I dressed up as my true form, Batman, for Halloween and I didn’t have a Catwoman, but I have the urge to go to the pumpkin patch and wear matching red plaid pajamas. It’s so sick and twisted out here.
I figured this was the perfect time to lock in. I don’t understand why I have these urges for human intimacy. All the dudes on my For You page are telling me to start my winter arc. Togi started working out again, and Sam Sulek shaved his head. It’s a perfect storm for my grind life, but instead I have to go to “therapy” and talk about my “feelings” and confront my “poor self-image issues and how they relate to the content I see on the internet.” How am I supposed to get gains in these conditions?!? My therapist keeps telling me that if we can get to the root of my problems I can start to recover and stuff like that, but when I tell her that feelings are stupid, she tells me I’m lashing out and we just keep getting into these circles of whatever and I’m no closer to my dreams of becoming a real winter alpha.
