Volume 30 Issue 3
UCSD Begs Students to Have More Sex
“I can’t believe our virginity rate is even higher than our acceptance rate!” said Dill Doe.Photo by Julia Wong Since its establishment, UC San Diego has …
I Give Up — The Next Global Disaster Will Be Too Weird to Predict
A decade of unprecedentedly unprecedented times, whatever people are calling it, has put me out of business. If you asked me a decade ago where we’d …
You Are Not Snow White vs Tell That to These Fucking Ravens
POINT: You Are Not Snow White Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I practice the tradition of frolicking through Eucalyptus Grove and serenading my entourage of forest …
Frasier Reboot Meets Expectations
“No man, woman, or child is going to be able to call me a fake Frasier fan,” said Kilometers.Photo by Amit Roth The first two episodes …
It Takes Forever to Get Anywhere Because of the Construction vs. In My Day, We Walked Uphill Both Ways
Armed with a summer’s worth of marathon training, enough protein powder to sustain a small village, and the willpower of a proper American imperialist ready to …
HDH Announces Tactical Operations to Track Down Missing Dining Hall Dishes
“I had like five bottles of liquor in my dorm room, but they ignored that to get to my dirty plate,” said one student.Photo by Julia …
