- Ferment them into wine
- Name a cow “Vegetable”
- Connect your IV line to a food processor
- Keep carrot cake in the fridge year-round
- Eat more meat, because you’re eating more vegetables by proxy
- Have someone announce “Here comes the airplane!” before feeding them to you
- Put a Beyond Burger patty over your regular patty
- Dehydrate them into dust and inhale them
- Fry your chicken in vegetable oil
- Smoke them like weed
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
