June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII

Top Ten Ways to Dodge the Draft

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

December 6, 2023

  1. Never turn 18
  2. Just close the window
  3. Tell them your mom said no
  4. Smoke so much pot that you’re legally a hippie
  5. Keep asking when you get to meet General Motors
  6. Threaten the recruiter with Peepaw’s fortune
  7. Wear full camouflage so they can’t see you
  8. Fail the FitnessGram PACER Test
  9. Be a fortunate son
  10. Get bone spurs
The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

Last modified: December 5, 2023