- Never turn 18
- Just close the window
- Tell them your mom said no
- Smoke so much pot that you’re legally a hippie
- Keep asking when you get to meet General Motors
- Threaten the recruiter with Peepaw’s fortune
- Wear full camouflage so they can’t see you
- Fail the FitnessGram PACER Test
- Be a fortunate son
- Get bone spurs
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.