Volume 28
Title of Khosla’s Leaked 2022 Commencement Address: “Good Luck LMAO”
“I was really worried and uncertain for my future,” began one student. “But after reading this speech, I’m reassured that I’m definitely screwed.”Photo by Maria Dhilla …
Top Ten Things That Aren’t Getting Enough Attention Right Now
The clitoris Our LinkedIn profile The nearest exit, which might be behind you The fact that we’ve had two presidents named George Bush This great new …
It’s Not Easy Being White
Every day I hear people saying things like, “white isn’t a color,” “white is just the absence of color,” “you can’t even see white, you just …
The Pride Flag
The Pride Flag By Theo Erickson
Top Ten New Ways to Generate Clean Energy
Top Ten New Ways to Generate Clean Energy Capturing good vibes Plugging a power strip into itself Surrounding the moon with a Dyson sphere Picking up …
Jeff Bezos Releases Best-selling Novel, “If You Give a Minimum Wage Worker Respect”
Bezos is slated to release a sequel next year, titled If You Give Your Wife Respect.Photo by James Woolley Last Wednesday, former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos …
Susan Bagel: Meringue
I hate goodbyes. I hate letting go. It’s not in my nature to give up, but I can’t be strong all the time. I buried my …
Student Accidentally Brings All the Sand From the Beach Home With Them
After being investigated for sand theft, De Brie said, “There’s nothing more I can do — my hands are tide.”Photo by Sharon Roth Student Roxanne De …
Top Ten Things You Are Probably Doing That Make You a Horrible Person
Microwaving your food Making any sort of noise in a public place Taking the second-to-last cookie, initiating the final cookie standoff Exhaling carbon dioxide and contributing …
You Can Enjoy Your Summer and Relax Vs. No You Can’t, You Have 1000 Things to Do and You Need to Finish Them by Tomorrow
Point: You Can Enjoy Your Summer and Relax The weather in San Diego sure is nice. Almost as nice as delicious orange-flavored, from-concentrate Sunny D. A …
