- Microwaving your food
- Making any sort of noise in a public place
- Taking the second-to-last cookie, initiating the final cookie standoff
- Exhaling carbon dioxide and contributing to the eventual heat death of the United States of America
- Thinking to yourself that you are having a good day while horrors are being committed all across the world
- Driving for 15 minutes instead of taking a perfectly good bus to a trolley to a subway to a bike to a walk for 10 total hours of travel time
- Not commenting “yass queen so pretty #slay” on your bestie’s Instagram post
- Always saying “I love you too” and never “I love you”
- Killing a man to assume his identity
- Walking sideways like a crab
The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.
